There is nothing more miserable than being sick. On Tuesday I came down with a nagging cough that wouldn't go away. By Wednesday I was coughing so hard I was almost gagging. Today I have a headache that won't quit, a stuffy nose, sinus pressure, and that same horrendous cough. Phil calling in on Tuesday night to stay home to take care of me and the boys. He was off yesterday and today but has to go back in tomorrow. If I wake up feeling the same or worse tomorrow I am going to see the doctor.
All of this wouldn't be so bad but for one thing: my dear, sweet, darling 5 month old son, Andrew.
Let me paint you (whoever may be reading this and also, you, future self) a picture here. My baby only wants me. Clingy, attached, dependent, stuck-like-freaking-Crazy Glue doesn't even begin to cover it. He only marginally tolerates Phil and that's a recent development. He wants all mama, all the time. So I can't even get a break from him when Phil is home and can step in. God love him, he tries. But Andrew has the stamina and lung power to outlast us all. He will scream to the point that he is hiccuping and gasping for breath. What am I to do? Thank God Phil and I work opposite shifts, myself only twenty hours per week, because I have no freaking clue what we would do otherwise. He absolutely, positively will not accept a substitute.
Also, he doesn't sleep. That's right, doesn't sleep. He's still up every hour or two at night. Sometimes less. I don't think he's slept more than 3 hours straight since October. He also doesn't nap. He falls asleep for 30 minutes at a time during the day, mostly in my arms, and if I dare lay him down to nap he's awake within 5 minutes, screaming.
He also doesn't tolerate being in his car seat. I have to sit right next to him in the car, bottle, binky, Sophie-ready, just to get him to relax enough to hopefully fall asleep for part of the ride.
And once we get to wherever it is we are going, he won't deal with being transported in his car seat onto a stroller frame. He has to be worn in my Ergo for every outing or all Hell will break loose. It's the only way I am able to go out in public with him.
And all of this at five months old.
So long story short, I am tired. T-I-R-E-D, tired. And now I am sick on top of it and don't even have the ability to rest in order to get better.
And there it is, my reality, in all of its painful honesty: My baby doesn't sleep through the night--not even close! My five month old baby rarely does a two hour stretch at night, and he doesn't make up for it during the day, either.
And the next person who tells this sleep-deprived mother that their brand new baby is sleeping 7 hours straight at night is getting punched in the eye. Don't say I didn't warn you.